found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
