You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
