Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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