Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i permit you to call me
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
