her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
