Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
