Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
