Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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