My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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