My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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