Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
