Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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