I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
