saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Drake has all the answers
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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