somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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