This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
