Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
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