I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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