I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
