i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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