what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
