I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
