He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
