Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
