THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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