look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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