He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
