If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
