in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
