If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
