So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
