Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
