White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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