you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I want to be your penis for a week.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
