I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
