just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
