I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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