Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
