How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
sex in a hospital.. check
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I love you. Go after that dick
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