So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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