So drunk its hurt
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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