Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
