The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
