Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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