I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
