Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
