That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
