C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
