i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
