we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Text me some of your sweat
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize