Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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