Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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