last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
