take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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