I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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