they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
