Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
