i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
