shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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