I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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