it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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