they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
