Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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