We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
