Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
FUCK WHALES
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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