you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
