I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
