Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i came on her dog
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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