She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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