are you still at the devil's house?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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