I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
