and i looked up. we had an audience...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
