apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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