I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
