i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize