He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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