You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize