Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
