just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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