Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
